Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Show Us Your Stiffcock

Ready to show us your Nipplewort?...



Or your Sticky Willy or your Stiffcock?...



If you took photos of your garden this year in anticipation of THE SEVENTH ANNUAL INFOMANIAC GARDEN PHOTOS EVENT, you may submit them now.

Submit a photo or photos of your garden. If you don’t have a garden, send a photo of your houseplants or lawn ornaments. Or for those style queens amongst you, a photo of your artfully arranged cut flowers.

Remember to include a brief blurb about your photo(s).

Please have your pics emailed to me by the end of September and I'll post them as soon as I can, sometime in October.

Photos of previous annual Garden Photos Events may be viewed here.

Friday, September 15, 2017

Thursday, August 31, 2017

Road Trippin'

The Mistress bids you Bitches farewell until mid-September...


(click to enlarge)

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Want to improve race relations but don't know where to start?



Here are some of the many things you can do to help reduce racism in your personal life and in your community.

And a tune I chose to accompany the post. Simple question. Simple lyrics. "Why Can't We Be Friends?"...



The band (War) got the idea for this song when they were traveling in Japan in the early '70s. Drummer Harold Brown said, "We're all connected by language, and by our food, and by our culture. Most racists don't know why they're racist. But you pick them up and take them over and drop them in a country, like India or Pakistan, guess what? 'Why can't we be friends?' Because all of a sudden you find out we're more alike inside than we are on the outside. We started realizing that that's really important. You travel all over the world, you can't speak a lot of their language. But one thing they do know, they know your body language, how you may react."

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Cleaning Things Up

It seems that Tumblr has decided to clean things up.



When I clicked on several Tumblr sites that I occasionally visit, this is what I saw...



To make matters worse, those white splotches that look like cum stains were flashing so I had to close the site before I had a seizure.

Tumblr has installed a "safe mode" to filter out explicit content.

Here's what I want to know...

Is there a way for me to get past the "safe mode" screen to view the sites I want to visit? Note: I'm not a Tumblr subscriber.

Thanking you in advance, Bitches.

p.s. Here's an example.

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

We Interrupt This Staycation to Order Another Cocktail



"Waiter, another homojito for my friend, Norma."

Sunday, July 23, 2017

Pool Party!

While The Mistress is temporarily unavailable, please enjoy the pool at the Infomaniac Beach House...



But do NOT let things get out of hand...



Friday, July 21, 2017

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Ladder Safety Violations

Did you or did you not read my Public Service Announcement regarding ladder safety?

Obviously not!...



And this inexcusable footwear violation!...

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Public Service Announcement #38

To keep healthy this summer, stay hydrated...


[via]

Thirst isn’t the best indicator that you need to drink. If you get thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.

Drink plenty of water, Bitches!

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Friday, July 14, 2017

Nude Day Meets Bastille Day

Hold on to your hats, Bitches...



Today we celebrate both National Nude Day and Bastille Day (aka "la Fête nationale" or "le 14 juillet") ...

and, of course, today is Filthy Friday.

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Summer Jobs

Back in the mists of time, in your youth, did you have a summer job?



Tell us about it.

Monday, July 10, 2017

Somebody Hose Me Down



Is it hot or is it just me?

Sunday, July 09, 2017

Laundry List

Now that you Bitches have finished the laundry...


[via]

... what's up for the rest of the week?

Friday, July 07, 2017

The Weekend

Which of these photos most closely resembles your typical weekend?

This one?..


[via]

Or this one?...

Thursday, July 06, 2017

Quote of the Day - Eddie Izzard

If there is a god they need to come down to Earth and explain WWII, Hitler, bowel cancer, and Croc shoes.



Quote from his recently published memoir, "Believe Me: A Memoir of Love, Death, and Jazz Chickens."

Wednesday, July 05, 2017

Summer Camp

Hands up if you went to summer camp, as a child...



Now, tell us about it.

Monday, July 03, 2017

Happy Fourth of July!

Since you'll be at the beach or a barbecue on the big day, we're wishing you American Bitches a happy Fourth of July in advance...



Fun funereal fact: Three Presidents have died on the 4th of July: John Adams, Thomas Jefferson and James Monroe.

Sunday, July 02, 2017

Canuck Duck

Nothing says CANADA like a six-storey-tall, 89 foot long (more than 27 metres) inflatable RUBBER DUCK weighing in at 30,000 pounds (13,600-kilograms)...



The duck is travelling throughout the Province of Ontario this summer as part of Canada's 150th birthday celebrations.

But rather than making a splash, the duck's $200,000 price tag has some taxpayers crying fowl.

And feathers have been ruffled by claims that the giant bath toy is a fraud.



The question remains: Why a rubber duck? How is this in any way related to Canadian history or to Canadian culture?

So over to you now, Bitches. What giant inflatable object do you think would be more representative of Canada than a rubber duck?

Saturday, July 01, 2017

Happy 150th!

Things that turn 150 on July 1st:

Canada...



and Norma...

Friday, June 30, 2017

Justin Trudeau's Socks



Mr. Peenee asks, "Did you see the story in the New York Times about Justin Trudeau's socks? We are all 12 year old girls at heart when it comes to Canadia's king or whatever he is."

And so we present a sampling of Justin Trudeau's socks, just for you, Bitches.

Maple Leaf socks: a Canadian emblem...



Giving German Chancellor Angela Merkel an eyeful ...  of his NATO socks...



Mr. DeVice will appreciate Justin's Star War socks...



Being presented with a Toronto Maple Leafs hockey jersey while wearing Montreal Canadiens hockey socks...



Sock pride!...



And finally, Mr. Peenee's socks!...



... which were obviously knocked off when he saw Justin Trudeau's socks.

Full NYT story here.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Public Service Announcement #37

Stop slouching!



Slouching hurts your body and may result in aches and pains in your back, neck and shoulders.

Slouching also affects your breathing and lung capacity. Less oxygen means less energy.

So straighten up, Bitches!

This has been an Infomaniac Public Service Announcement.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Thursday, June 22, 2017

The Pool Boy

Remember to tip the pool boy...



Here at the Infomaniac Beach House.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Summer



Are you Bitches ready for summer?

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Tired


[via]

Will catch up with you, eventually.

Saturday, June 03, 2017

Nothing to See Here

We here at Infomaniac apologize for the lack of fresh content and for our failure to visit your blogs recently.


[via]

Please find ways to amuse yourselves until regular service is resumed.

Wednesday, May 31, 2017

Covfefe Coffee Klatch

Perplexed about Drumpf's use of the non-word "covfefe," The Mistress and Norma decided he meant "coffee klatch" or "Kaffeeklatsch"...



Won't you join us?

Sunday, May 28, 2017

Happy Days and Holidays

The Mistress survived another vacation with Norma...



Please forgive me as I take my time getting back into the swing of things.

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Wet Shave or Dry?

Wet shave (with shaving cream and a razor)?...



Or dry shave (with an electric shaver)?...


[via]

Which method of shaving do you Bitches prefer?

And have you ever had an old-fashioned wet shave from a barber with a straight razor (aka “cutthroat” razor) and hot towel?...



And do you remember your first shave?

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Stripes

A new study suggests STRIPES might be making us ill...


[via]

Scientists warn that stripes in architecture and clothing may trigger migraines and epileptic seizures.

“Vertical orientation of stripes are in general worse than horizontal,” said Dr Dorothée Kasteleijn-Nolst Trenité, an epileptologist of UMC Utrecht.

“Examples of striped patterns that are potentially provocative in daily life are rolling stairs, venetian blinds, striped clothes and buildings.”

Oh dear...