Friday, March 24, 2017

Fashion Crime at McDonald's

Gevondis Demond Joseph, 29, of Port Arthur, Texas was charged with aggravated robbery of a McDonald's in Groves, Texas ... with a hairbrush.

The suspect walked into the McDonald's and demanded money, giving the employees the impression that he had a handgun in his pocket. It turned out to be a hairbrush.

Groves City Marshal Norman Reynolds, Jr. said, "He was in and out pretty quick. I don't think he got an Egg McMuffin or anything."

We here at Infomaniac hope that the supsect will also be charged for committing a fashion crime: wearing a leopard-print robe, orange gloves and ORANGE CROCS.

"I'm not sure if he was out late or up early. We don't really know why he was dressed like that," said Reynolds. "Maybe he thought he was going to Walmart and wanted to make the Top 20... what are they called? Walmartians?"

Unfortunately, we here at Infomaniac were not able to obtain a photo of the suspect's footwear. In their place, we present the equally offensive ORANGE CROCS of chef Mario Batali...

Thursday, March 23, 2017

Cheers to Eleven Years

The Mistress has been cranking out this blog for 11 years now...

We here at Infomaniac hope you've been enjoying yourselves as much as I have.

Here's to Infomaniac and to Infomaniac Bitches!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Mr. DeVice - Birthday Boy

Happy birthday, Mr. DeVice!...

Do my eyes deceive me or is the young Mr. DeVice grasping a pair of fuzzy dice?

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Snow Pants

For those of you in milder climes who have never seen SNOW PANTS, behold...

Snow pants are bulky, insulated, waterproof, windproof trousers designed to keep you warm and dry when the temperature plummets. They're ideal if you engage in winter sports, live almost anywhere in Canada or spend a lot of time waiting for public transit on frigid days.

They usually have an elasticized waist, making it easy to slip them over your regular trousers.

Most snow pants have boot gaiters: an elasticized cuff on the inner bottom of the pants. On days with deep snowfall, these gaiters prevent the snow from filling up your boots.

Many folk would not be caught dead in snow pants after the age of FIVE but those of us who require an extra layer of warmth are willing to look ridiculous.

Only last week, I ventured out to the ravine for a walk when I sunk up to my hips in snow. Yes, that's how deep it was and thankfully, I was wearing my snow pants.

Rather embarrassingly, snow  pants make a swishing sound as you walk; the result of the fabric from one leg rubbing against the other leg. You cannot walk quietly in snow pants.

Go on and laugh at this fashion folly. The Mistress has restocked the "Banned" stickers and is ready to use them.

Note: We are aware that the British word for underpants is "pants" so extra "Banned" stickers have been ordered for anyone thinking, "oh how funny...The Mistress wears snow underpants!"

Monday, March 20, 2017

Somewhere, it is Spring

The first day of spring officially begins on Monday, March 20, 2017.

But not in Canada, it seems.

We hope it's much more springlike wherever you are, Bitches.

Friday, March 17, 2017

Thursday, March 16, 2017