Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Banned By Infomaniac

Don't let THIS happen to YOU...


(logo created by and awarded to LX)

And you think being sent to the Oubliette is punishment?

The following is a partial list of offences and reasons YOU could be banned for life here on Infomaniac:

Wearing offensive footwear, particularly CROCS.

Mentioning Celine Dion.

Asking "Did I win yet?" too many times.

Ignoring contest deadlines.

Not using a towel on the furniture whilst nekkid.

Emitting bodily fluids, especially vomit.

Failure to submit a photo of your backside to our Gallery of Alluring Arses.

Voting Republican.

56 comments:

  1. p.s. LX has not committed ALL these offences but he has committed enough to deserve the "Banned By Infomaniac" notification.

    ReplyDelete
  2. p.s. The ban has been temporarily lifted on LX but he is on probation.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Replies
    1. *adds that question to list of offences*

      Delete
    2. Unfotunately, I cannot give LX an A for French spelling!

      Delete
    3. HUGGY JON: UnFOtunately, Mistress MJ cannot give YOU an A for ENGLISH spelling!

      LX is American and gets points for effort, unlike many Canadians, n’est-ce pas?

      Delete
    4. Of course... I was being facetious!

      Delete
    5. @ Jon: If there is a spelling or grammatical error, what is it? I can easily revise the graphic. If The Mistress is going to be spreading these around like herpes, let's get it right!

      Delete
    6. Points deducted for suggesting I have a social disease.

      Delete
  4. So your flexibility also allows you to bend the rules...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PRINNY: I bend over backwards for you Bitches and this is the thanks I get.

      Delete
  5. *fanning mahself* you know, sweetpea, i had a pair of sandals made by those people, but out of fear, i have not worn them since learning of y'all's distaste for the brand. sweet mary sunshine, wtf has happened to me? i used to be such a badass..*sigh*

    xoxoxoxox

    ReplyDelete
  6. But LX is a favorite around here. Next you'll ban wrinkly nekkid old men and Ikea monkeys.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I may have become an embarrassment to the IKEA Monkey.

      Delete
    2. but do you have a shearling jacket, sweet pea? xoxoxo

      Delete
    3. You best watch out AyeM8y, next thing you know she'll be stripping you of your naked bartending title. Then where will I be...I mean....we be, without that lovely swizzle stick of yours.

      Delete
  7. Good gods! There'll hardly be anyone left here, will there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. oh please Mr Device, with events like Ménage à Trois of the Month, Testicle Tuesday, Filthy Fridays , contest galore a vodka fountain, and a newly installed chapel, I don't see anyone leaving this dump.

      Delete
    2. *Surfaces* You forgot the gincuzzi, honey! Hic! Jx

      Delete
  8. just remember that, "BANNED IN BOSTON"
    only made whatever was banned that much
    more desirable.

    "would someone pull those klieg
    lights over here and shine them on LX?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Once a month she has this "thinning the herd" attitude ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *presents “Banned By Infomaniac” notification to Mago.

      Delete
    2. FOREGIVENESS!

      See this, but not Orlando.

      Delete
    3. The ban is officially lifted for Mago.

      Posts about and/or links to cute animal photos are your "get out of jail free" card.

      That means Norma is safe too...THIS week, anyway.

      Delete
  10. I have "a friend" who has committed all of those infractions, except for one!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: Are you going to tell us which one?

      Delete
  11. well, Mj, with all these commenters, there seems to be quite a few asses missing from your gallery. What if someone submits a photo on their naked ass whilst sitting on crocs?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ... vomiting. With a Celine Dion tattoo.

      Delete
    2. ...and an "I Love Mitt Romney" sticker.

      Delete
    3. Missing asses from the Gallery?

      Fortunately for all of you, one Infomaniac Bitch has found a way to placate Mistress MJ.

      More about that later.

      Delete
  12. I just had to make sure I said crocs and not something else. I getting more ill by the minute with this language......where the gin Jon?

    ReplyDelete
  13. And another thing, if I sit naked on your furniture, I refuse to sit on a towel....at least till I take a blue light to it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MISTRESS MADDIE: No need for a blue light.

      You can see the stains from space.

      Chris Hadfield tweeted them.

      Delete
  14. Replies
    1. HUGGY JON: Justin Bieber may be mentioned (in hushed tones) ONLY if he is being upstaged by the IKEA monkey.

      Delete
  15. Gracious, the old thing really is in a mood, isn't she? I think instead of a ban graphic, we should dig up a CRAMP ALERT gif for her. For all our sakes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *presents “Banned By Infomaniac” notification to Mr. Peenee.

      Delete
    2. jesus, a person can't say anything here.

      Delete
    3. Demerit points for taking the name of our Lord in vain.

      Delete
    4. demerit points?

      what the fuck is this, summer camp?

      Delete
    5. NORMA: Summer camp, winter camp...whatever.

      Camp is camp no matter WHAT the season!

      *cues entrance by British Jon*

      Delete
    6. No idea what you're talking about, dear... Jx

      Delete
    7. JON: Now THAT'S what I'm talking about.

      Delete
    8. camp- it is all we have left, right?

      Delete
    9. NORMA: ♫is that all there is?♫

      Delete
    10. oh sure, banish us AND send us into the
      darkness crying over schmaltzy peggy lee.

      Delete
  16. Replies
    1. Ooops, I almost banned Wally, I was in such a mood.

      Delete
  17. Mistress MJ will be please to know that I gave back my crocs to whom they belong!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Huggy Jon is just one offence away from receiving a "Banned By Infomaniac" notification.

      Delete
  18. Mistress, will this get me out of trouble?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LX: What were you saying about being banned by Infomaniac?

      I seem to have forgotten.

      Was I dreaming?

      Delete